Holy crap guys! I’m getting married today, so this is odd timing, but I just realized that the Internet is the worldly manifestation of Cthulhu! It is slowly consuming our minds and causing our bodies to wither away from inaction, as our consciousness is sucked into its ever expanding spiral of PRON, WAREZ, AND DOOM! Check these “facts” out:
1. Cthulhu has a whole bunch of tentacles to suck out souls or something. The Internet is full of tentacles! It’s made of tentacles! Bonus fact: Worse than tentacles, the “web” is radiating through our bodies all of the time thanks to cell phone networks and wifi! If you live in a major city- porn, cat videos, and snuff films penetrate your brain all day long! We are already submerged deep in a sea of Lovecraftian nightmarescapes!
2. Cthulhu will bring madness and horror to all, causing laughing fits at the horrors of the world as our minds degrade and cave in to the worst depravities imaginable. I.e. 4chan.org
3. Millions of netizens worldwide worship Cthulhu! Check this out: http://www.cracked.com/funny-1911-cthulhu/
Anyway, it’s way too late to stop Cthulhu’s Net, so have a nice apocalypse.